Hello my dear friends! Like I promised from an earlier post, here is the first part of the short Fairy Tale story I've been working on. Now, I've re-read this over I don't know how may times and have done some revisions, but I think it may need some more tweaking here and there, so, I would love to hear any comments or critiques you fine readers have. I have a fairly thick skin when it comes to critiques, so be as open as you like. I'm working on part two, and this drawing...which I couldn't resist doing for this short tale. It's going rather slow though, as I'm moving out of my current apartment at the end of this month. And things are in a bit of chaos. I'll have part two up soon.
Here is part one:
Once upon a time, in a land very far from here, there was once a little prince and his name was David. Now David was just as any good prince should be. He was noble, courageous, and very kind.The little prince loved to listen to the fairy tale stories his mother would tell to him as he lay in his bed at night. He would lie back on the many soft pillows imagining the all the beautiful sea-maidens as they combed their long, long hair, and sang their enchanting songs. The more he dreamed of these mermaids, the more the longing to have one for his bride grew inside his heart. This longing grew so large that it began to keep him from getting any sleep at all, and, he grew ever more restless. The little prince thought if he could just grow up faster, he could go out into the world, where, it would not be so long before he met with some wonderful adventures and meet his very own mermaid.
As days and years rolled by, the little prince became more man than boy and he grew more and more handsome. Many eligible women in the town pursued him to be their husband, but he turned them all down. None was good enough for the young prince, for all he wanted was a mermaid for his bride. Soon, the quiet of his father’s castle and his mother’s sea tales did not please him at all anymore. So, he took his leave and started on his journey across the strange seas, and kept wandering on further and further, for it mattered not to David, which way the seas lead him.
He went on till at last he came to an island where he spied four sea-maids sunning themselves on a large rock. After looking at them for some minutes, the deep longing he felt since his childhood came over him and he dove into the waters after them. The ship’s crew, astonished, exclaimed after him: “Your highness! Oh, he actually jumped! But, he cannot swim!”
The prince plunged down ever deeper into the clear waters, panic never coming to him as he searched desperately for the mermaids he had seen on the island above. Now, the sunning mermaids spied the handsome young prince and fell in love with his beauty. They watched with cold bemusement as he leapt into their waters after them, failed to come up to the surface again for air.
“Oh!” Cried one of the sea-maids, “A human has fallen in here! And what a lovely looking child of man he is too.”
“He is mine!” Laughed another. Then, they all dove in after the young drowning prince to rescue him. David had reached the sandy bottom, not knowing how to kick back up to the surface, he lay there, despairing, for his last remaining breath was about to escape him. He began to wonder if he had been chasing illusions all these years and if the stories of the sea-maidens that his mother had told to him were true at all. With these many thoughts and doubts, the young prince’s lungs began to fail him and the underwater world in which he found himself surrounded, began to grow dark and fade away.
As he was about to let go of his final life giving breath, the most beautiful of women filled his eyes. Her golden spun hair floated about her like an aura and her strange colourless eyes were warm and so very kind. All manner of weird and wonderful jewels and gems lay artfully in her hair making the water sparkle and dance about her. She smiled shyly at him as she pulled him towards the surface, to air, to life. Taking in big gulps of air, all the pain in his lungs was relieved and he felt quite well and strong once more. When at last he opened his eyes, he saw the young sea-maid near him, taking him towards his ship. On the surface of the waters, her skin was as white as snow and as bright and lovely as the sun, so much, so that he found himself dazzled and rubbed his eyes to try to clear them of this strange vision. No sooner had she brought him back, then, she made to turn back and leave him there with his own people. The prince reached out taking hold of her slender arm, he said with urgency: “Wait! Do not go away yet!” The mermaid stared at him perplexed and the prince went on: “I have searched for you my entire life, I have dreamed of nothing else than finding a mermaid to be my bride.”
The mermaid at first just looked silently upon David, her eyes wide with wonder and then sadness darkened her face. Very gently, she shook her head, causing pearls of water to spray like diamonds from her hair.
“I am afraid I cannot be your bride.” She whispered, “Your world is not mine to live in. I have brought you back to your people, now go.”
The prince tightened his already firm grip and pleaded with her: “I am a prince from a wealthy and powerful kingdom in the north, if you become my bride, you shall become the adored queen of millions!”
Full of joy at hearing where the young prince hailed from, the maiden agreed to go with him and become his wife. Upon her word, she spoke a song of magic and traded her lovely fins for a pair of dainty human legs. Greatly amazed at the prince’s good fortune and blessing in such a rare find, the ship's crew helped the maid board the ship where she was clothed in rich and luxurious fabrics. When they arrived back in the prince’s kingdom, they were greeted with great ceremony and celebration, and a magnificent banquet had been prepared in honour of their new princess. So the kingdom in the North was bequeathed with a new queen and their marriage was to take place in the evening under the nighttime blanket of stars. On the hour of the wedding, a splendid carriage drawn by ten white horses drove up to the palace doors. They had white feathers on their heads and elegant golden harnesses trimmed with lace and red velvet; their hooves shone softly in the moonlight as they trotted off with the prince and his bride.
To Be Continued!
That finishes part one. I hope it reads well. It was actually fun writing in this kind of prose, you can be descriptive with very few words. I want to try a lot of different writing styles in order to find my own voice. So this was a lot of fun to sit down and write. It's a bit of a twist on the Hans Christian Anderson's tale of "The Little Mermaid". I'm hoping the ending is going to take readers by surprise. *insert evil laugh here*
That's all for today my friends. Have a merry, creative week! Cheers!